The “Never Again” Way To Travel Europe!

The first thing I want to do is apologize to the stateside readers who have no plans to do an overseas tour as this post is not likely to be beneficial to you. But for those who are already overseas or those who may end up here in the future, I just have to caution you.

 -It’s no secret that the best part of an overseas assignment is the opportunity to travel to places you might otherwise never get to experience. But I highly recommend that you either stick with an established name you know (USO) or seek a reputable firm in the host nation when it comes to booking a tour. If you see an ad in the local paper that describes a tour for a price that is very appealing, you will soon understand why they can offer low-cost trips.

Last Friday we departed for a €99 (for adults, €69 for children) day trip to London. We were surprised to discover we had assigned seats (not typical of these tours). We departed at 5 PM and did not arrive at the Ferry (to cross the English Channel) until 2:00 AM. There were absolutely no pit stops between our pick-up point and 2:00 AM, so for NINE HOURS you sat in your assigned seat. Unless you’re a smoker who might like at least one break in that duration, you might think this is no big deal. However, due to the fact that the bathroom on the bus was not working………you might change how you feel about that. Let me ask you………….What typically happens when a bathroom is not working properly?  Think it might start projecting some fumes here and there?  You guessed it!  Now what might possibly make this odoriferous nine hours on a bus even worse?  NO AC!!! The A/C worked for the first couple of hours, but then it broke down. They opened the ceiling vents to get some natural air, which wasn’t bad until it started pouring rain and they had to close them.

Oh, I forgot to mention that while the passengers were being held hostage on the bus, we did pull over at some rest stop only to allow THE BUS DRIVER to use the facilities!

As if the heat, the smell and the lack of stops wasn’t enough, there were no beverages for sale on the bus, and no periodic collection of trash for those who brought all their own food and beverage. The only time trash was collected was when the bus arrived in London and at the end of the return trip. So in this bus with very little leg room, many were now inundated with their own build-up of trash. But then I guess garbage goes well with a non-working bathroom and no AC!

Now, here’s something families might want to consider. They did actually show a movie while in route to the Ferry. It was Pride and Glory with Colin Farrell. While there was no nudity (that I noticed), the entire movie was based on the “F word” and we couldn’t help feeling bad about the onboard families with young children.

After nine hours of non-stop driving, we arrived at the Ferry. There was no communication as to what was going to happen at this point. Therefore everyone started grabbing their belongings to take into the customs office with them, thinking they were going to board the Ferry from that point. Nope. After going through customs, everyone took their belongings back onto the bus, and we were driven onto the Ferry.

Aside from London itself, the Ferry was the best part of the trip!  It allowed us to finally use clean facilities in working condition, stretch our legs, get some fresh (cool) air, and purchase something to eat or drink. It takes 90 minutes to cross the Channel and then we were back on the bus from hell. A little less than 2 hours later we arrived in London. Great news right? Well, it would have been great news except that we had to wait over an hour for our local (British) tour guide to show up. And he personally explained that the tour companies usually call him when they leave the English Channel so that he can plan to arrive at the same time. In our case, the Tour Company did not contact him until we had already arrived at our destination in London.

At this point, those of us who got on the bus at the first pick-up point had now been in route for 12 consecutive hours, so many chose to get off the bus to wait the additional hour for the local tour guide. One such person was the bus driver who was spotted by many as he relieved his bladder on some of London’s scenic landscaping! That added hour gave all the passengers plenty of time to express their disappointment in the tour company. Many said they will stick with the USO trips from now on, and many others said they’d have gladly paid more for the trip to get better quality.

Once our British guide arrived, we were finally seeing the sights of London. He was extremely informative, which I’ve been told is a requirement by England so it wasn’t something the tour company could botch. Afterwards we were on our own for nine hours, which was great. My husband and I liked it enough that we want to return, but I guarantee you it won’t be by bus. In fact this trip may have cured us from wanting to go ANYWHERE by bus………..EVER!

While traffic conditions are out of anyone’s control and we certainly don’t hold the tour company responsible, the only thing that could make our return trip worse was a traffic delay that cost us an hour, which meant we missed our Ferry and had to wait yet another hour for the next one. Therefore, what was a 12 hour trip getting there was now a 14 hour trip returning with the same miserable conditions.  What? You thought perhaps they had the bathroom or the A/C repaired while during our nine hours of free time?  Guess again.

In fact, since we were the last to be dropped off, the bus driver confided that he had to get the bus cleaned quickly because they were heading out on another trip an hour later. I just wonder how many tours this company will take out before they insist the bus company get the bathroom and A/C repaired.

Another factor over which there is no control is the behavior of other passengers…….. but a bus with ample leg room makes a difference when the people in front of you want to recline so far back that their head is in your lap………..or crushes your knees. By now you’re probably thinking we’re just not “bus people” and that we should probably stick to trains, planes and automobiles. However, while waiting for the Ferry we saw plenty of luxurious buses with the A/C running and a sign on the back that stated “Extra Leg Room”. We really wanted to be on one of THOSE buses! It wouldn’t have shortened the trip, but it certainly would have made it more enjoyable for all.

I’ve shared this story because it happened to us………..and it can happen to you. Before you purchase inexpensive tickets with a company you don’t know, ask around. Look for online comments about the company. This tour company doesn’t even have a website, which means you have no way of knowing if they’re even licensed or insured. Similar companies in your overseas location probably don’t either. It’s likely they just put a small ad in a local paper hoping they’ll capture the attention of just enough people to make the low-budget trip worth their while.

Although I’d rather not give you the name of the company, and I ask that you just do your homework before booking a tour, I will tell you that (ironically) their ad says “Probably the most trusted name in military travel”.  NOT!! This tour company should probably be on the installation’s black list!

MZspouse