The First Amendment verses The Golden Rule!
While the First Amendment protects our right to express ourselves (freedom of speech), it does not give us the right to neglect The Golden Rule. Christianity is only one of 21 world religions that teach some form of the Golden Rule, also known as the Ethics of Reciprocity . Even those without religious affiliations accept this concept that every person shares certain inherent human rights, simply because of their membership in the human race. It’s all about treating others as we would like to be treated.
Five years ago, when my husband deployed he obtained a phone “over there” so that in the case of an emergency I would be able to reach him. Having been a well-traveled, career oriented, self-sufficient single mother for more than a decade before marrying into the military, I was not likely to ever call him unless it was an emergency. I respected his need to focus on his career as much as he respected my need to focus on mine.
He gave me what he thought was the correct country code, phone number and dialing procedures and asked that I try it to make sure we wouldn’t encounter any problems if the need presented itself. I tried several different combinations of his instructions without success. It wasn’t really “an issue” for me as I knew he would call or Email when he was able. But he was rather persistent; every time he called he reminded me of the need to be able to reach him in an emergency.
So after trying a few more times and even calling a resource at Army Community Services to see if they could tell me what I was doing wrong, I decided to ask those with more experience. Five years ago there weren’t nearly as many online resources for spouses as there are today, so I went to an online forum that was open to anyone but mostly frequented by service members. I thought “OMG! This is the perfect place to ask since so many of them have probably been there, done that.” I merely asked if anyone could assist me with placing this call to my husband ~ that obviously there must be something I’m missing and would appreciate their help. I did not preface my request by telling them this was at my husband’s insistence or that it was just to make sure I could reach him in an emergency………I just didn’t think they needed to know all of that, and since I had entered an unfamiliar online discussion group, I thought less info was best.
Well that was a huge mistake! Obviously the only person in that group who chose to reply was one who not only didn’t give me the answers I needed, but who made all kinds of assumptions about my need to figure out the calling process. He literally reamed me a new one and very crudely told me to be less of a leach and to let my soldier focus on his mission. You have no idea what a struggle it was to not lower myself to his level with an indignant reply!
At that time I was still relatively new to military life but had been told all this great stuff about this huge family where everyone looks out for each other…..obviously not always the case! I was so offended by his reply that five years later I’m writing about it!! And guess what? My husband ended up with back-to-back deployments and never in the 27 months that he was gone did I call him!
Since then I have discovered the majority of military families do care about each other and will go to great lengths to help when needed. I am very grateful for all the individuals who have created forums and blogs that were less abundant five years ago, and that are dedicated to spouses and significant others. The anonymity associated with those portals might prompt a hasty reply to what is perceived as a dumb question or comment. But if we remember to treat others as we would like to be treated all of these online resources have a much better chance of achieving their goal…………to help others.
MZspouse
